I would like to share my story with benzo's. I have suffered a lifetime of anxiety and panic attacks. (Almost 30 years) I drank alcohol to self medicate my anxiety and panic disorder. I was given valium for my panic attacks and the magic happened. I was free of my panic attacks! (or so I thought) I was prescribed .5mg, 3 times a day. Seems like a low dose, right? I thought so. I never abused my medications and stuck with the prescribed amount...for years.
The problem is that the "small dose" allowed my alcoholism to really take off. I did not feel the terrible anxiety you get from hangovers, from over drinking and just in general. I still had the terrible anxiety, but the panic part where I thought I was going to die was medicated now.
When I chose to get sober, I stopped the valium as well. I had a few to get me through the initial alcohol detox, then I was done. What I was not prepared for is what happened next...
Around three to four months sober, I started to hallucinate. Things did not look or feel "right". I started to itch like crazy. I had night sweats. I was basically wigging out. A month or so later, I started to want to die. I knew I didn't want to commit suicide, but the thought of making all the craziness in my head go away came up often. It got even better...I started to want to take others out with me. I wanted to hurt my dog because of how he "felt" when I held him. Noises were so loud, it felt like someone hit me with a 2x4 in the back of the head.
This was TERRIBLE!!!!! The worst part about it is that nobody told me that what I was experiencing was valium withdrawal. I had not even considered that since I was taking such a "low dose". I never abused the pills...always took as prescribed.
My withdrawal peaked around six to seven months and slowly (and I mean S-L-O-W-L-Y) I returned to normal. This took over a year.
Now that I am 100% chemical free, I received an added bonus. My anxiety and panic attacks are GONE!!! If I had known that eliminating the stuff I was putting into my body to combat anxiety/panic would make it completely go away, I would have quit a long time ago.
From my experience, I say STAY AWAY FROM THE PILLS!!! They never make you quite "right" anyway.