Your is a story of incredible love in many ways. Your example has shown your daughter what loving and compassionate people do. You have given her the greatest gift a mother ever could. You let her love her father and she is broken hearted and grieving. In time she will heal but the loving relationship she had with her father will be a part of her forever. It has shaped the woman she will become in a good way. And if she is really lucky the woman she will grow to be will be a lot like her mom. I wouldn't wish away her experience. She is better because of it even if you can't see that right now. You and your daughter are unsung heros in her father's life.