That was a big awakening for me, Chris ~ that I was taking responsibility for people and things that did not ask me to do it and maybe didn't even necessarily want me to do it. And I held a zillion resentments for not getting appreciation for this "help"!! It was painful for me to see that a lot of what I looked at as being a good, caring, strong, responsible, nurturing person, was more about my need to control people, situations, etc. As painful as coming to this realization was, it was so freeing!! And it has helped me turn that nurturing energy on to someone who really needs it and wants it ~ me!!
This was a biggie for me to see. The other person was also a way for me to avoid dealing with my own character defects. It's so much easier to point the finger at someone else than looking at my own screwed up thinking.