Yeah I feel awful about a whole lot of things regarding him (Sammy is his name) but looking at him at the vet -- looking him in the eyes and having already told the vet (or the vet told me) that he had no choice, I felt immense guilt.
It would have been cruel to take him home and had another night/morning with him-- he was in pain and sedated but still in pain... But I so wanted to take him home and be in denial and just act like it was ok... And he had to have known... his eyes were so sad...
Ugh.. crying all over again now...