M -
What if there were a horrible disease, so horrible that it engendered social stigma, caused physical suffering, required life-long treatment, and its recovery required that you no longer be able to have relationships with many of the people you care about...
And, what if this horrible disease expressed itself with diverse symptoms at different stages of its impact, so that people who had this disease could recognize it at varying points in its manifestation...
And what if diagnosis of this disease, at its earlier stages, had no real definitive test but was instead a subjective experience of the carrier...
And what if the symptoms of this disease came and went, seemingly randomly, interspersed with periods which felt relatively healthy and not frightening...
And what if other people around you disagreed with you that you had this disease, sometimes actually arguing with you to convince you that you didn't...
And what if there was no medical establishment or doctor who would really be overseeing your treatment, it was just something that you would have to follow through by yourself forever...
And what if we lived in a world in which - all around you - were manifestations of people ingesting the very liquid that your disease rendered toxic for you - in films, in ads, in real life...
Um, would a really big part of you desperately wish that you didn't have this disease, and wouldn't you spend an awful amount of energy trying to convince yourself that you didn't?