The dog I has since before I met xAH was a mutt. I got him as a puppy- I never had had a dog growing up and he was my first real pet.
He was the funniest, sweetest, goofiest most living dog ever. I knew he was going to have to leave me one day but I got home yesterday w the girls and he greeted us fine and three hours later I found him collapsed and seizing in my yard.
I had to take the girls with me with him to the emerg all night vet and was sobbing. I knew what the outcome would be and saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing. I'm still laying here bawling. Heartbroken.
I met xAH when my dog was a puppy and xAH loved the dog almost as much as me. I guess because he couldn't talk back to him or demand anything from him? In any event I made the decision to let him know and let him come say goodbye too before they put him down bc it seemed like the right thing to do.
I'm having such a hard time with his death. And I'm having an even harder tjme with the fact that EVERY funny story or memory that involved my dog for many many years also included xAH.
I feel like grieving my dog dying reminds me of all the sadness I thought I was long since over about the early years with xAH when things were decent.
My dog was a part of every major event in my life for almost 17 years and I'm just being flooded with memories of xAH and I and the times we had with him as a puppy.
I don't have any lingering sad feelings about xAH per se-- just sadness that someone who was part of my life for so long is so lost now and won't ever be the same and that my loyal amazing dog who I loved more than I love many people I know , is now gone and with him, the reminder of the times that xAH and I shared that didn't suck
I'm just rambling now I'm sure. I just am shocked by how devastated I am by the loss of my pet. I've never had to deal with this before and I'm surprised to find myself sad about remembering the good times xAH and I shared with my dog.
Thanks for listening and anyone wanting to send hugs my way I'll take all I can get today
