Daughter got a DUI, I'm having a hard time as a mom
I don't really know where else to turn so I'm posting here. Since my failed marriage to xah and an awful roller coaster of a relationship with xabf I feel like I have burdened my family and friends with too many worries about my children and me over the years. I find myself rarely talking about my struggles with anyone anymore because of it.
So right now, I'm coming here because I don't know where else to turn. My 21yo called a couple of hours ago. She got a DUI early this morning. I hate to say it but I've seen it coming. She has been in a world of hurt for her entire life, in spite of the gifts she's blessed with. She is beautiful, brilliant, talented, and loved by many yet has no sense of self worth. She believes in her heart of hearts that her dad hates her. She believes in her heart of hearts that no one cares about her except me and a few others. She is a deeply wounded girl. She drinks with friends and medicates with shopping, but is in denial about harm she's doing to herself. She wants to blame others for the problems that come her way. It's hard to watch. I know that she's not responsible for the actions of those who have hurt her deeply in her young life. But I also know that she's responsible for the decisions she's making to hurt herself. She has seen a counselor a couple of times, but it's been painful and she won't go back. Now she's devastated and deeply embarrassed by her DUI. She is convinced that her dad will hate her even more. My head is spinning right now. It's hard to watch your child hurt.
I am hurting terribly for her right now. For many months I have been working hard to apply the things I've learned here and through Al-Anon in my relationship with her. I've tried to love her without enabling her. Tried to help her find her way when she's asked for my help, but not force my opinions or ideas on her. It's incredibly painful to sit back and watch your child hurt and watch her make decisions that cause even more hurt. Thanks for listening. I could use support and prayers, right now. I just really don't know how to process all of this.