Originally Posted by
lillamy 
I think I can relate on one point. I also could not leave until I felt I had exhausted all the options. I had to stay until I knew in my heart of hearts that there was nothing left I could do.
And that what I tell people when they ask: you shouldn't leave until you feel that you are ready to. But whether you stay or leave, getting educated about what alcoholism is and what you can expect is helpful.
This is true. I am still with my AH. But, I am not the same person I was 10 years ago. I think the difference here is this.
1) you are not married to him
2) you do not have kids with him
3) you are not financially tied to him
4) you sound like you have lack of experience with addiction
Listen, I think when it comes to staying or leaving most of us have one of the 4 to contend with and this is why you have heard "run, don't walk, RUN!" We have been right where you are. Are there happy endings? No. Not really. Just endings whether we stay or leave. Addiction sucks and so does recovery. Addiction is selfish and so is TRUE recovery. You can find many stories on here of endings even while A was in recovery. You will find very few stories on here of happy ever after because just because someone is sober, it does not mean it will stay that way. I challenge you to slide on over to the substance abuse forum. You can find many many addicts in recovery and their marriage still sucks.
It is what it is. We don't sugar coat anything 'round here. It hurts, true....but we are trying to save you from years of counseling and a long road of pain and heartache. We can relate. Fantasy thinking got us where we are today. We want to help others out of fantasy before its too late.