No romantic love doesn't mean anything but we had a real true friendship going on, and so much in common interests, people, and history, and goals and , sense of humour, everything really...the rare connection you find once in a lifetime...ill forever be trying to find this in someone again, he makes me want to be better and all I want to do is have him in my life. I would give him everything I could. I know more than anyone. We fit into each others families perfectly we bring out the best in one another, I could go on. But you are right, no one can be the true judgement but myself. Addiction is unpredictable and he may be a long way from where he needs to be but I have waited this long and it's gonna be another year before I can get away with a fresh start, I am trying incase I HAVE to but no it isn't what I WANT to do. And it still may not get me to forget nor may I ever settle, I may end up alone forever and I guess that's ok too.