feelings in early recovery
When I told my ex boyfriend (who is in AA and has been sober for 5 years)that I was going to a substance abuse therapist because I've been drinking too much, he started talking about step 1... telling me to start thinking about my feelings. I didn't really understand why. But now that I am actually trying to quit, I'm realizing that feelings are the hardest part. I cant escape them if I don't drink. They seem overwhelming and scary.
I started reading in depth about the 12 steps last night and what each step requires. And the thought of doing those steps are overwhelming in its self. When I got to reading about step 4 I felt so uncomfortable that I went to the store and bought a bottle of wine. I know that is ridiculous but I guess I need to focus more on what I have to do today instead of worrying and projecting what Im going to have to do in the future.
Its just the future scary, unknown, and uncomfortable. I wish I could jump ahead to 1 year sober and skip everything I will have to do to get there.