I can certainly relate. This is my second attempt at sobriety and working on 70 days. My husband who is a big drinker continues to tell me I was "better" when I was drinking. I find myself unable to cry or express joy but I know after my many years of drinking it is going to take awhile for me to recover and come close to the person who was generally an upbeat person. Depression and anxiety still hindersome but I just take it one day at a time and know I never want to drink again. Some days good, some days not......hang in there and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.