Hey Tetra! Hang in there. I know it's easy for me to say that but when you are on the doorstep of fifty like I am you will look back and think how really young 34 truly is in the grand scheme of things.
I've had my job for 14 years now so that puts me at 35 when I was hired. Until that time I wandered around doing a little bit of this and a little bit of that. I bought my house at 36. I met my husband when I was 39 and had my first child at forty, my second at 43. So look at all that life I've crammed in over the span of 14 years. I never thought I would have any children let alone 2. I always thought I would bounce around and never settle in any one job and here I am. And I did all of that despite my drinking. I've only seriously worked on quitting (other than when I was pregnant) when I was 46/47. So look how much further ahead in the game you are than I ever was.
And before getting the job I lived with my parents for 2.5 years. So, you are doing really, really well. And I love the pumpkin. I forgot to tell you that earlier.