Originally Posted by
eastboundndown 
But I see no point in it all. I think we are all just rats in a maze. We work, we die. Yeah, people make the best of the in between, but that's all they do is make life livable. They are still rats in a maze.
There is more than this my friend. When I was drunk for many years I could not see it either. Try sobriety, this will help perhaps with the depressive state.
Prayer alone did not save me. I found the alcohol killed my spirituality - had extinguished the flame. For some that may never understand, a spiritual journey within is the key to happiness and contentment. But alcohol stands in the way of that journey.
Perhaps check out a book entitled Timeless Wisdom. It is a how to from a very enlightened gent and encompasses no specific religion, but highly spiritual development kit.
The money you save in buying booze could be used to drive at least a couple night per week to meetings, I suppose but don't know.
I had to have some face to face support, period. At 116 days sober for me AA is a huge key. You may find others live near you to carpool.
There is more to life than just the rat in a maze. Please give yourself the gift of at least 30 days of sobriety so you can start to see it.
Keep posting on SR - really helps!
Glad you're here
peace