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Can this be done alone. Completely alone?

Old 10-01-2014, 08:44 PM
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Can this be done alone. Completely alone?

I have no real friends here. I have family but no one even close to my age and they don't want to hear anyones problems. They just tell you to pray about it (nothing wrong with that, but it feels like a cop out). I have no significant other, I haven't in a while. I work with one other person, but see several throughout the day...I only work two days a week though. I go to church about 3-4 nights a week (but everyone is old it seems, like 60)I live in a very rural area and AA meetings are almost an hour a way...not that I would mind the drive, I just couldn't afford the gas.

So I'm wondering, if I stopped using tomorrow, and it was just me and the thoughts in my head, do I even stand a chance? (Already while I'm typing this, wanting, wishing, dreaming of being normal and sober-I keep thinking, 'what is the point in being sober', 'what will change', "will anything even change')

I don't even give myself a chance at this. Really, what's the point?
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Old 10-01-2014, 08:49 PM
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give yourself chances your human right ?
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Old 10-01-2014, 08:50 PM
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I'm not sure.

I did it with the help of SR. But I also changed almost everything about my life...my friends, what I did for fun...

I also changed what I turned to in crisis fear or pain. I found better healthier ways to solve my problems.

None of that worked immediately so I had to have a good deal of faith I was heading in the right direction.

I also needed great reserves of patience waiting, sometimes with my insides screaming, til I got to a better place.

If that's 'alone' to you then yeah it's possible

It's a big ask tho - are you up for it?

D
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Old 10-01-2014, 08:52 PM
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Originally Posted by eastboundndown View Post
I don't even give myself a chance at this. Really, what's the point?
Improve your life? Read around here on these forums, you will see many stories of people who have pretty successfully turned their lives around in sobriety. Also, there is quite a few of us who have used only or mainly SR as a support system.

What will change is up to you, but the best way to go is to stop drinking/drugging/whatever is your vice. Focus on making that last and learn how you can achieve that. Then build on that. Many could do it, you can as well!
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Old 10-01-2014, 09:06 PM
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But I see no point in it all. I think we are all just rats in a maze. We work, we die. Yeah, people make the best of the in between, but that's all they do is make life livable. They are still rats in a maze.
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Old 10-01-2014, 09:09 PM
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I thought that way too. It was not a great 20 years for me.

In contrast the last seven years sober has been *amazing* for me.

They could be for you too - if you're prepared to do a lot of work?

D
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Old 10-01-2014, 09:11 PM
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There is a 24/7 community right here. No need to be alone.
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Old 10-01-2014, 09:14 PM
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Originally Posted by eastboundndown View Post
But I see no point in it all. I think we are all just rats in a maze. We work, we die. Yeah, people make the best of the in between, but that's all they do is make life livable. They are still rats in a maze.
Well, you can build your maze in a sober life
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Old 10-01-2014, 09:46 PM
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Originally Posted by eastboundndown View Post

So I'm wondering, if I stopped using tomorrow, and it was just me and the thoughts in my head, do I even stand a chance? (Already while I'm typing this, wanting, wishing, dreaming of being normal and sober-I keep thinking, 'what is the point in being sober', 'what will change', "will anything even change')

I don't even give myself a chance at this. Really, what's the point?
I think you do, you have to start somewhere. The booze has a way of making you alone and exacerbating loneliness. Getting clean and sober is a good place to start but you need to rejoin the human race at some point.

SR is a big help for me. I have family but they have no clue what addiction is like. SR is a godsend.
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Old 10-01-2014, 09:50 PM
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How about calling the helpline?

Both AA and NA have helplines......all you have to do is Google it with your nearest city.

I think they have online meetings too, perhaps even here on SR?

You're worth the effort. I have seen how recovery changes lives and how lives become worth living. Please do this for your future and for all who love you.
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Old 10-01-2014, 09:53 PM
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We have online recovery meetings Tuesday and Friday nights in the chat room but they're themed meetings not NA/AA

D
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Old 10-01-2014, 10:07 PM
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If i stayed doing what i was doing , i got very much a similar life that i always had , slowly going down hill .

With sobriety i just didn't know what was possible , i didn't know what it was like to be one or two years sober and how life would be.

I hope you do a couple of years sober because if your anything like me you just don't know whats possible until you try .

Take care , m
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Old 10-01-2014, 10:58 PM
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I quit cold turkey 7+ years ago, doable for some.
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Old 10-02-2014, 04:50 AM
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Well, you picked an awesome username, so to me all signs indicate there is a 100% chance you could do it

Especially with all the kick-a peeps here who are personally rooting for you to succeed!
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Old 10-02-2014, 05:22 AM
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"Almost an hour away" isn't thousands of dollars in gas. I think if we want something badly enough, we find a way. I'm going to bet you'd be spending that gas money on alcohol anyhow, if you were to continue to drink.

AA offers a solution to the drinking problem (the 12 steps), along with a solution to the social problem which I believe most alcoholics to have. I couldn't relate to people in the outside world without alcohol. For my first year sober I spent all my time with AA people. They held my hand as I learned to build a life that stopped feeling like the rats in a maze you describe. A life full of a variety of people, activities, and hope.

Might sound odd to say this, but I honestly think at times that AA is underrated. They offer so much more than freedom from alcohol. I highly recommend finding a way to get there. From what you state in your OP, I couldn't think of a more fitting solution.
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Old 10-02-2014, 05:44 AM
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I'm not sure there is a point to life either. Maybe, at least for me, the point is to try to help make someone else's life suck a little less. Maybe just that is enough to get me out of bed in the morning.
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Old 10-02-2014, 05:50 AM
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Originally Posted by eastboundndown View Post
But I see no point in it all. I think we are all just rats in a maze. We work, we die. Yeah, people make the best of the in between, but that's all they do is make life livable. They are still rats in a maze.
It's easier to hack the maze and escape when sober. Just sayin'
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Old 10-02-2014, 05:52 AM
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My great grandmother quit all alone without any help. She was so alcoholic that she made other people taste any of her drinks before she drank it to be sure there was no alcohol in it. She was an uneducated immigrant. She didn't have AA or SR or anyone to talk to about it. (hell, they didn't even mention if someone was pregnant in those days) I have used her as a huge inspiration in my sobriety. I have all of these resources. If she could do it, I have no excuse not to do it. That being said, you have to want it, to do it.
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Old 10-02-2014, 06:05 AM
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Yes this can be done alone. Plenty of pretty average people accomplish great and wonderful things every day. It's up to you if you want to be one of them. You can quit drinking for good.

You.
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Old 10-02-2014, 06:18 AM
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Originally Posted by eastboundndown View Post
But I see no point in it all. I think we are all just rats in a maze. We work, we die. Yeah, people make the best of the in between, but that's all they do is make life livable. They are still rats in a maze.

There is more than this my friend. When I was drunk for many years I could not see it either. Try sobriety, this will help perhaps with the depressive state.

Prayer alone did not save me. I found the alcohol killed my spirituality - had extinguished the flame. For some that may never understand, a spiritual journey within is the key to happiness and contentment. But alcohol stands in the way of that journey.

Perhaps check out a book entitled Timeless Wisdom. It is a how to from a very enlightened gent and encompasses no specific religion, but highly spiritual development kit.


The money you save in buying booze could be used to drive at least a couple night per week to meetings, I suppose but don't know.

I had to have some face to face support, period. At 116 days sober for me AA is a huge key. You may find others live near you to carpool.

There is more to life than just the rat in a maze. Please give yourself the gift of at least 30 days of sobriety so you can start to see it.

Keep posting on SR - really helps!
Glad you're here

peace
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