I am so in the same boat.
I asked my AH for a separation last Friday. He loves us and doesn't want to leave us....I had told him if he didn't stop this was coming and I had to follow through. I can't afford the rent where we are so I told him if he didn't actively look for a new place I was going to. I love him desperately and we have been married 19 years. Our oldest dd is 17 youngest is almost 15. Ultimately it was them feeling like they had to watch their father like a hawk that made my decision.
Now though, he is taking steps to get help, which is all I wanted. He is going to counselling. He is going to AA. I have hope, but I'm afraid to trust. The plan has changed but only minorly.....since I was already planning to take my time looking I have a bit of time for the wait and see approach. I'll still be looking, and I'm putting firm boundaries in place, but the hope is there. I'll also be going to counseling as will our girls. And al anon and alateen too.
I'm sure I've enabled in the past. Actually, it's kind of funny....recently I've been trying so hard to protect myself and my kids that I've been enabling less and less. I've been detaching and not realizing I was. I still get angry, and I'm working on that one, and hurt as well, but my main concern is my kids. He keeps saying he doesn't want to lose us. He seems to be taking the steps I said I needed for that to happen, but I don't have my eyes completely closed now either. So it's plan for the worst hope for the best.