tiredmum....I know that you are sad. You are grieving the loss of how you wanted things to be, no doubt. This is only natural. Crying is nature's way of releasing the negative energy and pain from your body.
Console yourself with the knowledge that you are doing the only thing you can do to take the best care of yourself and your little ones.
As much as it hurts....there comes a time when you have just got to do what you have got to do.
He had his choice and he chose alcohol.
It won't always feel this bad....
dandylion