tiredmum

So he came round as we arranged, and I told him me and they kids are going to be moving away to where I'm from and where my family are (a plane or boat away). He was sober and said he knew this was coming but he had been trying to pretend its not. He said he thinks it would be good for the kids to be around family and he will still see them. I said please use this as a reason to get sober and don't use it as an excuse to get worse.
I cant stop crying. I almost wish he was angry about it but he was so resigned and I feel so sad.

dandylion

tiredmum....I know that you are sad. You are grieving the loss of how you wanted things to be, no doubt. This is only natural. Crying is nature's way of releasing the negative energy and pain from your body.

Console yourself with the knowledge that you are doing the only thing you can do to take the best care of yourself and your little ones.

As much as it hurts....there comes a time when you have just got to do what you have got to do.

He had his choice and he chose alcohol.

It won't always feel this bad....

dandylion

Eauchiche

God bless you, dear lady, for doing what is right for your kids. If your husband truly embraces sobriety, he will find way to re-connect with his kids in a healthy way.
God bless you! Prayers for you today.

lillamy

You are doing what is right and healthy for your kids and for yourself. Don't forget yourself in all of this. It's easy to focus on what we're doing for the kids and easy to forget ourselves.

He is an adult and he is responsible for his own choices. Sadness doesn't mean he truly understands that this is the consequence of his choices. It's up to him to determine what he does with the information he has.

You take care of you. And those kiddos.

tiredmum

thanks guys. I guess in my preparation for telling him and how he would react, I didn't even consider how I would react. This wave of grief is immense and I really wasn't expecting it. I thought I would be happy/feel relief but instead I feel as if we have just separated. I suppose its coz its really final now.

Combakkid

Hugs to you today. I know it must have been extremely difficult to get the words out that you were moving. I know I have thought about it over and over and tried to think of every possible reaction so I was ready to deal with it. As hard as it may be, you are doing the right thing and the clouds of sadness will lift and let in some more sunshine very soon. Congratulations on the start of your new journey!

Eauchiche

Fact is, I think we all walk on eggshells around our alcoholics. Even telling them the electric bill is high can set them off.