Originally Posted by
ArtFriend 
BUT (big but) it's as if my EMOTIONS take control of my rational mind and obliterate any form of reasoning. Not an excuse, just trying to figure it out.
Have you read "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle?
I also thought my emotions controlled my life, hence, I would drink in reaction. Through Tolle, I learned that they do not control me, they are just feelings. I can feel them, recognize them for what they are and let them go.