I sure feel for you, Calmwater
My mate blew through here last week and wanted to have lunch. I had not seen him for almost 6 months. Lunch was okay. I felt so sorry for him. We had breakfast again last Sunday. He reminded me of a cantankerous client I have. Never asked me how I was or any questions about my life. Complained that he had thrown his neck and back out.
I offered to go there this weekend and do the yards for him with his back being bad.
I got there Friday night after work, and he was already inebriated. He had already done the back yard. We went out to lunch yesterday after doing some other yardwork. He wouldn't let me do the front yard, and barely said 20 words to me all weekend. Of course, he was drinking the whole weekend, as usual.
I left to come home this morning as early as possible.
I wouldn't know what to do in your case. I think your situation is harder than mine. At least my mate isn't pretending to sober up.
Good luck to you!