Well, people around us do get frustrated, desperate, hopeless, angry and whatnot, about our drinking-related behaviors and lies. You can turn this around completely and regain your mom's and others' trust if you stop drinking and pull yourself together. It all starts with putting down the drink, there is no other way, really.
What you can do - get rid of the alcohol, drink some water, go to bed, and start your new life tomorrow! And please don't take meds and drink!