Four years of being front row to an active crack addict and being emotionally abused is a long time. So you escape. Then what?
Then the healing begins, whatever recovery program you work gets worked harder and longer and you wrap yourself in the support of others who have been where you are and can guide you along the way.
The pain of leaving may hurt like the dickens but eventually lessens and heals, but the pain of staying is worse and ongoing.
Wishing you healing days ahead.
Hugs