What could have been....
Hello friends, I am safe at home, without alcohol on a Friday night. But I did drink alcohol tonight.
This afternoon I dropped my kids at their grandparents house- a rare treat for both them and myself- and then went to see my doctor about my blood test results. Everything came back 100% fine. I attribute this to the extreme care I take in guarding my health via healthy eating, vitamins and supplements despite my heavy drinking. I was then given, as asked, a prescription for antabuse. I stopped by the pharmacy and a frowning pharmacist informed me that she had to order it, I could pick it up Monday. I then went immediate to a bar to load up on glasses of wine despite having 5 sober days under my belt. I won't speak to what led me there, typical alcoholic behavior and all, but I felt like having one last hurrah prior to my forced sobriety.
But I'll tell you what made me sad. I was there, this tiny little bar in this tiny little village in Italy where I live. Everyone was so happy and jovial. They had planned a special night with some random singer from France. We spoke to him and he said that there would be karaoke later. KARAOKE! I love it! I am the world's WORST singer, I assure you, but I love karaoke and participate any chance I get. That said, I am also getting more into trying to be sober and not making such a fool of myself in public. That said I realized that I was well on my way to tipsy....which would soon be completely drunk, and I had to leave.
I have to tell you that foreigners are not so completely welcomed where I am, but I have been welcomed with open arms. People were begging me to stay and eat, drink, sing, hang out, dance.... and Oh! how I wanted to. But I knew if I stayed it would result in an embarrassing situation so I left. How sad. Had I just been sober I could have enjoyed this fun, one off, night in my little town. Instead, being the active alcoholic that I am I had to leave to protect myself. How sad, what could have been a great night has turned into me, alone, slightly tipsy at home.
The good news is I start my antabuse Monday when it finally arrives. My doctor gave me strict instructions on how to take it, 3 days of taking 3 pills a day, then going down to one a day. On the 6th day she told me to drink 100ml of wine and experience the effects, continuing to 1 a day after that. I am TERRIFIED. I think that in the US they no longer call for the "test experience" but my doctor here (Italy, Europe) was adamant that I do so. Should I do this? I am scared, but want to follow my doctor's orders.