Thank you everyone for the responses.
I talked to her via text later this morning and she told me she has to be able to tell me "no"....And I replied telling her I completely agree. Telling me no is helpful to everyone...then I can make other arrangements. I also had to remind her that dd is MY responsibility, not hers.
I'm not going now (and deep down, I know it isn't fine...), but I am going to see If I can go out tomorrow night for a few hours once dd goes to bed. Or tonight. Mommy needs a night out.
And yea....moving out would be much more possible if I was getting child support. Still haven't heard about a court date yet...he couldn't even pay for her ice cream at his visit last night, supposedly he is broke but he has started driving his f250 diesel truck everywhere... (why am I surprised?)