Living with another Codie
So most of you know, I moved in with my mom when I left xabf. DD and I are still here, and for the most part it is going okay.
The only problem is is that my mom is a big time co-dependent. Her boyfriend isn't an alcoholic ( my dad and step dad were though) but he is a gamer who can't keep a job. So she works herself to death, owns her own business. She will work and work and then do everything she can to help her boyfriend or me or dd. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate it. But there are times when I will ask for her help and she can't, and that's okay. I am fine with that. But if someone else offers to help then she gets upset, like she didn't do her job.
For example, I was supposed to go to a wine festival with some girl friends tomorrow. It was going to be overnight, and mom had agreed to watch dd. Then this week she said she can't, she has to work. I said okay. I told my friend and her mom offered to watch dd (she loves her). I told my mom. The lady that was going to watch dd just needed someone to pick her up in the morning on Sunday and I asked mom if she could by chance. She freaked out and said that she looks like the bad guy now and that she will just take dd herself and deal with it and work. That is ridiculous. I feel like she was doing the Martyr thing that many of us do. Taking on too much, resenting others for our decisions. She really blew it out of proportion.
So needless to say, I'm not going now. Which is fine. there will be other girl time oppurtunities. But now shes still mad at me. Either way, she sees it as everyone being mad at her, when in reality it wasn't that at all.
So...what to do in these situations? Eventually I need to find a place for DD and I (when I can afford to) but until then, I don't know how to handle another codie! (I'm just learning now how to handle my codie-ness!)