Macali, you can find the strength. One hour at a time, release yourself from your addiction prison. It's as simple and as hard as not having that first drink.
Stop now, dont fast forward years from now and become worse off, still drunk, still trying to find the strength you have today. Make the change. Many of us here have similar stories to yours, some not as distressed, some much, much worse. There is a ton of support here, but you have to make the chioce for yourself. Make you better, start today... tomorrow is day two, then day three... day by day, they add up to a better life, trust me.
Best wishes, you can do this and we can help.