I am tired. I have been drinking to mask the hurt in my life, My brother and sister are both recovering alcoholics and I have had to spend my life supporting them. They think I am the strong one but I have had enough of being the strong one. My father died recently. He was absolutely the best father ever. When I was 15 I had an argument with him walked out, came back and he had taken a heart attack at the age of 47. Due to the heart attack and lack of oxygen he was totally blind from then until he died. I have never forgiven myself. I have never spoken about how I have felt before. One thing I do know is that I am giving alcohol up for life. I have had Enough.