"If I wind up losing everything I can't imagine not going back to the bottle. I'm trying to prevent that."
two things come to mind, reading what you wrote here:
1. without intending any disrespect, going back to the bottle is insane -- in the sense that insanity means repeating the same actions and expecting different results. if you cannot see this insanity clearly enough to know, without any doubt, that it is madness and will only cause you to suffer more, then your first priority has to be recovery. how can you expect to put your life back together if you continue to believe that drinking is a viable solution when things get tough?
2. also, things are guaranteed to be tough, at one time or another. maybe you get your job back....but then something else threatens your sense of financial security. faced with the idea of "losing everything," you drink, and then you are back to square one. "preventing" a drink by getting the circumstances of your life right is doomed to failure, because circumstances are often outside of our control.
to me, your situation sounds a bit like a man who is on fire, complaining of his terrible thirst -- insisting that if he can only drink some water, then he'll worry about the fire later. you are thirsty (anxious about work/money/responsibility) because you are on fire (struggling with drink). put sobriety first and the rest will follow. anyway, that's what worked for me.
i completely understand and can relate to the stress that you are probably experiencing now, about wanting to meet your responsibilities and establish financial security. i'm not trying to deny that or downplay it or wish it away. i'm only suggesting that, from my perspective, the solution lies in action on a different set of problems -- namely, problems related to drinking.
wishing you all the best.