I doubt you lose control over your drinking at the flip of a switch, I think you lose control over your drinking at the first drink. Maybe even at pouring it - that beast chile gets soooo excited at the uncorking of the wine bottle, the clink of ice in a highball glass. No matter, you have plenty of control and reason available to you before these things happen.
You haven't accepted that you cannot drink AND have that job. I doubt your job is secure at all - you will make that mistake sooner than later, or maybe something outside your control will happen that you will be unable to deal with because of intoxication.
13, you know how to do this. Are you ready to decide your future about continuing to use alcohol?