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Old 08-28-2014, 04:19 PM
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ok

I think I need to regroup and refocus
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Old 08-28-2014, 06:41 PM
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are you still doing AVRT 13?

D
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Old 08-28-2014, 06:49 PM
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No not as such dee - haven't been using anything really I'm working 6 day weeks but I've started having a couple of drinks most nights the past few weeks. It's not a problem but it has that potential
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Old 08-28-2014, 07:03 PM
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It will become a problem is you don't stop. If things could stay at a couple drinks you wouldn't have come to SR to begin with. What changed for you, 13unluckyforsom? What got you off of your Big Plan?
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Old 08-31-2014, 08:47 AM
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I don't know maybe because everything started going right - people at work wanting to go for a beer after work - boredom waiting an hour and a half to get home at night. Countless excuses have been made.
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Old 08-31-2014, 05:32 PM
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It's not a problem?

The fact that it has the potential to be a problem...well, that's a problem.
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Old 08-31-2014, 06:23 PM
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Things get better then we drink and things go right back to the way they were or we can start again and move in the right direction.
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Old 08-31-2014, 07:10 PM
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a couple of drinks wouldn't be a problem for most people.
if i were to have a drink, the problem wouldn't be in the one drink but in the fact that i was having a drink.

what would make it be a problem for you in your eyes?
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Old 09-02-2014, 10:57 AM
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In my eyes the problem is the one time I don't keep it in check and I go overboard. I mean so far I'm doing okay - my life's changed dramatically and everything's so much more happy and positive. I can be sensible but I do also love getting wrecked to the point I don't know my name
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Old 09-02-2014, 06:57 PM
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Originally Posted by 13unluckyforsom View Post
In my eyes the problem is the one time I don't keep it in check and I go overboard. I mean so far I'm doing okay - my life's changed dramatically and everything's so much more happy and positive. I can be sensible but I do also love getting wrecked to the point I don't know my name
so...basically you're saying you're in control and moderating; am i getting that right?
i'm wondering, though, what your past own experience with that is? if that kind of thing had worked out for me, i wouldn't have ever joined a recovery forum.
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Old 09-03-2014, 05:24 AM
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Good luck with moderating. I never had any luck with it myself. Once I feed that beast he just wants more. If I don't feed him more I am just arguing with the AV in my head telling me to feed it MORE, and I am not happy. If I do feed him more bad things happen and then I am not happy for different reasons. Drinking lost a lot of appeal when I finally figured out that no matter how much or how little I drank I was going to end up unhappy.
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Old 09-03-2014, 09:43 AM
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For me when alcohol started to cause problems, I quickly figured out getting "wrecked" wasn't going to be an option anymore, neither was trying to control my drinking, that was my problem, after the 1st drink there was no controlling alcohol for me, maybe you're different!!

But if moderation isn't working, it might be time to look at abstinence, nothing changes if nothing changes!!
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Old 09-03-2014, 10:06 PM
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I do not understand the problem of controlled drinking. I do it every time. I have a drink, reach out with my hand in control and grab another drink. When I finish that, I reconnect with my body and the muscular response again to grab another beer. This continues through the evening. Isn't that control?
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Old 09-04-2014, 02:55 AM
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I'm probably textbook alcoholic - deep down I know that it's only probably a matter of time until it becomes a problem again. I'm not physically dependent just now I haven't been for months now but sometimes when I know I'm going to be drinking or I'm reaching for my first drink I shake because I can't wait for that release. I'm not unhappy or anything just now I actually love my life my job my people my perspective. I am actually scared of alcohol Tho. There's such a guilty association with it.
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Old 09-04-2014, 02:57 AM
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I probably am trying to moderate but I've never just wanted to have a couple of drinks. Once I have one the battle begins. Usually I get away with it by the skin of my teeth but it is a worry.
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Old 09-04-2014, 04:48 AM
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Originally Posted by 13unluckyforsom View Post
Once I have one the battle begins.
What is so important about those few drinks that is worth starting the battle? Why do they have sufficient value to make it worth your while to pick a fight you might lose?
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Old 09-04-2014, 08:21 AM
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for me, the battle was lost before i picked up the first.
otherwise, i wouldn't have picked up the first one at all.
but in fact, i wasn't aware of battling, mostly.


you've been here for a year, and have many posts. when you first got here, what did you come for? how were things going for you then, such that you looked for a place like this?
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Old 09-04-2014, 08:41 AM
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Originally Posted by 13unluckyforsom View Post
In my eyes the problem is the one time I don't keep it in check and I go overboard. I mean so far I'm doing okay - my life's changed dramatically and everything's so much more happy and positive. I can be sensible but I do also love getting wrecked to the point I don't know my name
I drank harder when I was at my happiest. If you know it's going to get worse in time based on past experience why tempt the beast?
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Old 09-05-2014, 06:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Creekryder View Post
I do not understand the problem of controlled drinking. I do it every time. I have a drink, reach out with my hand in control and grab another drink. When I finish that, I reconnect with my body and the muscular response again to grab another beer. This continues through the evening. Isn't that control?
I think the problem is the use of the word Control in general terms. If you really look at things we act and react, we get involved, we make choices, we even take responsibility But do we ever really Control things. I think the danger of using the word control is it can make things appear like control is on a level playing field, that the movement of your hand to mouth say on the second drink for an alcoholic is the same as the movement of the hand to drink a glass of water, there are clearly things happening differently in the brain for these two processes . But on the other hand I understand that in trying to take responsibility for sobriety it can be harmful to imagine when we drink or drug or gamble we are at the mercy of something moving the bottle to the glass and moving the glass to our mouth, as if we are passive bystanders under some mind control, that is also is not true. The question can become is the Control thing on a level playing field before we take the first drink, is the decision not to take a drink of alcohol the same as not to drink a glass of water?

I am not a RR person but my guess to an answer to this question is its not a decision I have to consider, because I don't drink, its kind of like asking a person with no left leg to kick a ball with his left foot, there is no decision to make.
I dont totally disagree with my RR friends on this framing of non drinker status, life for me at least is much easier being a non gambler then a recovering compulsive gambler.Sorry about the slight diversion on my topic here I am putting it down to my brain re-aligning itself after recently becoming a Non coffee drinker.
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Old 09-18-2014, 02:14 PM
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I've lost control - it happens at the flip of a switch - I still wouldn't say I'm physically dependent but mentally it's got me just now. I got up today - still drunk - called in sick to work then drank a glass of wine at half past 8 in the morning - then decided that I HAD to go to work so off I went - on my way there I bought a bottle of vodka to mix with coke and I sipped it on my breaks. I literally wouldn't have got through the day otherwise. I'm screwing up - my jobs still secure and I'm functioning still unlike a year ago but this is clearly an issue. I'm waking up thinking about that nights drink and how I'm going to incorporate it. It's freaking ridiculous to be perfectly honest. I'm making excuses but I basically finish work at 8 most nights and my bus home isn't till half 10 so I get bored and go to the pub - also sitting in the bus station is no longer an option due to some driver chatting me up and then dropping me like a hot ton of ****.
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