I've lost control - it happens at the flip of a switch - I still wouldn't say I'm physically dependent but mentally it's got me just now. I got up today - still drunk - called in sick to work then drank a glass of wine at half past 8 in the morning - then decided that I HAD to go to work so off I went - on my way there I bought a bottle of vodka to mix with coke and I sipped it on my breaks. I literally wouldn't have got through the day otherwise. I'm screwing up - my jobs still secure and I'm functioning still unlike a year ago but this is clearly an issue. I'm waking up thinking about that nights drink and how I'm going to incorporate it. It's freaking ridiculous to be perfectly honest. I'm making excuses but I basically finish work at 8 most nights and my bus home isn't till half 10 so I get bored and go to the pub - also sitting in the bus station is no longer an option due to some driver chatting me up and then dropping me like a hot ton of ****.