Early in sobriety I was taught:
Never compare your insides, with somebody else's outside.
On the outside, Robin Williams had lots that people could be choose to be jealous about. As do millions of others who are in the same predicament. One of the toughest things for me (and I think a lot of others) to come to terms with in this existence is that we're not the things we accumulate, the money in our bank account, nor the titles we work so hard to tack onto our names.
The great thing in your situation is you're aware and you're being honest. It sounds as though you welcome a change too, and I believe that's the key that opens the door to healing. The 12 steps are the best tool I know of to facilitate that change, but it ain't the only way.
This is an old poem that I heard first in grade school. I therefore think the whole world knows of it
, but I've found that's not true... so I'll post it for those who don't.
Richard Corey
Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
'Good-morning,' and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich - yes, richer than a king -
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
Oh yeah... I think its a good idea to stay away from facebook too
. It's not real. People pick and choose and edit carefully, to give a very well crafted picture of what the they want the world to believe they are. I have my assumptions about the people who post the most, but I won't go there. I know there's a reason they feel the need to do what they do.