Josh...I sincerely doubt you have any reason to be jealous of anyone. Everybody has a dark closest they don't want anyone to know of....
I suspect you really don't know who you are underneath the booze. I didn't ..and I am only beginning to know who I am and accept the irregular ole gal I am : ) I'm actually a fairly decent human..and well, that' means something. Financially I'm a bit of a wreck and I have a whole backyard of unfinished business to attend to...but I'm okay.
I'm sure you are too. You are jealous of folks you "think" you know...and don't...and suspect and critical of a man you likely know even less. And that's you.
Sobriety is very much of allowing yourself to be...just be...all that you are. Glad you're here.