DG, Wow...your words are so honest and open and vulnerable and real. I ditto everything everyone has said-particularly Meraviglioso. I hear red flags, too, and I also CLEARLY hear your desire to bear a child. As a couple of people have said, that should NOT be held over you as a "reward" for being the "perfect" person that does all the right things.
I have hated sex for a while, too, but for different reasons. My husband and I have been married for 34 1/2 years but, so often, our "fabulous sex" was attached to huge drinking episodes where I he and I were blitzed. Then, I would wake up feeling so bad about myself and so guilty. Over time, I just came to hate it because it wasn't about love-it was like an orgy or something. He and I have stayed together because we were able to talk through it and work through it and we have two amazing grown children. It doesn't sound to me, by your description of your relationship with your husband, that you would be able to talk with him about all of this? Am I wrong?
I just really think you have to do some serious soul-searching about what you want most-this relationship AS IT IS, this relationship WITH SOME CHANGES or do you want something/someone else who will want to have a baby with you-with no demands that you have to meet first.
Huge things...praying for you