Welcome Southerncross. Regarding boundaries, I had some issues with figuring out what I was okay with and what I wasn't okay with too. I decided to start by looking at what I thought were the really obvious, way out there, non-negotiable things. Not saying these are boundaries for everyone but I choose 1-physical violence against me or our son and 2-driving while drunk with my son in the car. I almost felt like I wimped out selecting these because they were two things I knew my AH would never do. Well, fast forward a few weeks and he actually did #2. I was glad I had set that boundary because it made the decision to separate more of a fact than an opinion - if that makes sense. It's like it was out of my hands (in a good way.) I don't know if that helps but I guess I'd suggest setting some really obvious boundaries and you can always tighten them up when things become clearer to you.