This site has suggestions on how to relate to other types (the book I read had this info in it too), which is helpful in learning how to better communicate with my husband.
9types.com - Enneagram tests, type descriptions, forums
This is how to communicate with Type 9s, which isn't how I would naturally talk to someone. LOL
How to Get Along with Me
If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.
I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advatage of this.
Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.
Ask me questions to help me get clear.
Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.
Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
Let me know you like what I've done or said.
Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.