I don't think you'd be here if you didn't want to stop Jax
Wanting to stop and stopping can be two different things tho.
It takes commitment and effort - and a willingness to feel discomfort for a while....but only for a while...it gets better
I understand you're scared, but look at the number of folks here who've done it...none of us would stay in recovery if we felt we lost out on the deal
It's a leap of faith, sure...but it's not really that much of a gamble
You can have the life you want - it's up to you when you want to start
D