I was terrified too. It is an illusion though. It is hard and I had to slowly rediscover my relationship with alcohol. However you get there, life without alcohol is amazing and I am only on Day 44! Take a look at various programs and see if any look appealing. This site is a huge place of support.
You absolutely can do this! You and your Family deserve this Jax! Stick with us here at SR if you slip and use us to help you! No one deserves the terminal and needless suffering that alcohol addiction assures. It is just sad to lose anyone from this. You can do this. Believe in yourself!
Much love and respect Man