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Old 09-11-2014, 02:54 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
desypete
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
Originally Posted by auroraxborealis View Post
Yikes I just typed a response but my phone switched pages on me and it got deleted.

Thanks, everyone.

I've removed his personal ringtone and text tone. (I still jump when I hear other phones make "his" text tone) so I don't run for my phone it if comes through.

I've mentioned this in earlier posts: my dad is a RA and he and my mom have been married for almost 35 years. Much longer sober than active. I think it's colored my world into believing people recover and work through it.

However, I do acknowledge that it takes two, each done his/her own work.

If he can't work his program and stay clean and sober, he doesn't get the be with me.

That's hard. Ugh.

I was laughing at myself yesterday. I wanted to call his phone to see if it worked and talked myself out of it. Guess it does work cause he texted a few hours later. That was my trying to gather info and manage things that aren't my business. And like I said earlier, it's not een two weeks. It feels like forever since I've talked to him. Well it's been almost three weeks since I talked to him, but almost two since he left that voicemail. What is two weeks? Nothing, really, when you think about it. It's the immediate that I need to work on. I jump when people say to rather than sit and process.
people do recover and work through it you should never turn your back on someone who is trying to recover, however it seems like your partner isnt really trying to recover, but this is based only on what you have posted of course and your suspicions on his phone use

its clear you love this person and you will do anything to avoid that hurt like anyone else would if they were in your shoes
its so easy for people who are either in a relationship or out of one and have some clarity of mind to simply get hard on those who are stuck in that mind set
but if he isnt being honest with you then you have to face it, anyone in recovery who is trying to change will not lie or hide or cheat anything away from loved ones

so you have to make your own mind up is he lying ? if he is what are you going to do about it ?
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