Great thread. I want to give a special thanks to "notmyrealname" as I really loved your response. Chimed loud and clear in my mind.
The difference between success and failure usually boils down to a fifteen-minute period (or much less), in which you either make the right call (and keep on swimming) or make the wrong call (and sink the boat).
Nugget of gold if I ever saw one.
I feel like I have been trying to quit drinking for about 25 years. I remember....when I sobered up in 2006 (when I joined this site actually) I threw away years and years of journals that had repeatedly reported my desire to quit drinking maybe on every fourth page.I was sober when I reviewed the years of evidence...and I was ashamed how long I had begged myself and not listened. If I had a nickel for everytime I wrote down "I really need to quit drinking" in those journals... I'd have a pretty nice rainy day fund.
And here I am with not even 3 months sobriety...again.
I'm doing new things in this sobriety...but still...I have no certainty of my sobriety. I just keep waking up each day and working on it. That's all I know to do right now.
I offer support where I can...I speak my mind...I apply knowledge I have gleaned along the way...
But I have no certainty of anything. I just gotta do the work. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.