Thank you all so much for the replies, those who did. I was sober for almost a year and half until recently so I kno that the urges get easier and easier. It had become so easy to wake up each day knowing that I would not drink that day the longer I went on. I really wish that I hadn't chosen to drink the day that I did again a few months back, but it happened. I feel like the major difference between then and now is that at that time I was battling legal issues and had hit rock bottom so I knew I had no choice but to no longer drink. This time around, things have settled down and I've taken care of my legal issues. Therefore, I now feel as though I want to get sober but I also want to drink. I do kno that I very much want to be sober more than I want to drink, however. Only thing is, I think that as long as there is any part of me that also wants to drink then it's going to make this extremely difficult. I wonder if there's a way to continue to tell myself in an attempt to brainwash myself into thinking that there is no part of me that wants to drink and that 100% of me wants to be sober and not try to moderate my drinking. I want it to be genuine that all I want is sobriety, tho. It just feels more difficult this time around but I want this badly. I think if I can go at least a month or two again things will begin to get easier as they did during my almost year and half sober last time.