I spotted this online today and thought someone here might find it useful.
Attached is the "power and control wheel" which shows the methods by which an abuser controls the family and significant other, ASIDE FROM physical and sexual violence. The pressure and control are significant. I saw several things that my XAH did to me to keep me under his thumb. Whenever someone says, "He doesn't hit me," I always think of the other things on this wheel.
I also found this: "Fifty Obstacles to Leaving an Abusive Relationship" [
http://www.vcpionline.org/%5C/pdfs/5...ms%20Stay.pdf]
I saw several patterns of thought on this list that I had to work through before I was ready and emotionally able to leave my marriage.
It's a helpful reminder to those of us on the "just leave" bandwagon that it it's usually more complicated than it looks.
Love to all.