I agree with Dee... when you aren't ready, you keep doing it. My rock bottom was a three day binge when I drank so badly I fell, bruised myself all over and was sick as a dog for days after. I couldn't take it any more. I went to meetings and met some great people. I got my one day coin, then a month coin, then three. And life started getting better. It took a while. But I am free of the fear... the fear that this week I will go to the store and buy so much and then go out and get so much more and then I will spend a sick day and be depressed and queasy and sick.
Alcohol will continue to trick you until you decide you are done with it. And if you let it have a foot in the door, it will try its damndest to get back to you.
It's the disease we were given. I've been mad about it, but I am also grateful I don't have cancer, or a sick child or so many other things.
Wishing you will be well!
Hugs,
Grat!