I am a newcomer and this post really hit me hard. I needed to hear this and really apply it to me. I am in the bargaining stage and I am losing-every time. I will only drink on the weekends (and then the weekends become 7 days long. I will only drink every other night (except that I'm really wiped out today so I'm going to have a drink even though I drank yesterday). I ONLY drink wine...but I can drink 2 bottles in one night. It doesn't affect my work...yet. I JUST WANT TO STOP-FOREVER. I don't want to ride this rollercoaster anymore. AA didn't work for me. I tried Celebrate Recovery and haven't found a group that I click with. Maybe these are excuses for not recovering. I just don't know. I WANT TO STOP. I WANT TO BE HEALTHY. I WANT TO BE THE PERSON THAT GOD WANTS ME TO BE AND THIS IS NOT IT. I want to get seriously hooked in here and know that I can "talk" to someone whenever that urge comes up. I need you guys.