After years of heavy drinking and no real honest attempts to quit, I finally had enough about 3 years ago, with some great sober runs, but not enough to make it stick. Like you, I keep releasing and have been stuck in a cycle of weeks/months not drinking followed by "just a drink or two" that lasts a week or two until I go for it Again. Yes, it's better than full on daily drinking and even like this my life has changed exponentially. But, it's not enough. My drinking bouts are miserable for me and a sharp contrast to my sober self and life.
Any day is a perfect day to say, enough, for good. And just keep saying that every day, no matter what. We know it's difficult, but so worth it in the end.