heartcore

Greedy -

My AV used the exact same seduction with me earlier this year, during my relapse. I knew it was time to set it down, but that damn music festival was on the horizon, I'd already relapsed, I was already going to have to go back into the rooms and 'fess up... blah, blah, blah.

The next chapter of the story is that I listened to the AV, went to the festival, drank like a pirate, ate a baked treat with extra, and blacked out for a large portion of the festival. During my black out I (apparently) had a vicious and shameful argument with my sweetie of the moment (gee, we're not together anymore, how weird is that?).

I got back into sobriety immediately after said festival, and am immensely grateful that I didn't make even worse choices during the black out. I could have been raped (I have a tendency to snuggle up to strangers when I'm really in my cups), behaved shamefully in front of co-workers or friends (both were also in attendance), or - hell - climbed up on stage and disrobed (not out of the realm of past behavior).

I gained nothing from the experience, lost a great deal, and didn't even enjoy the music itself.

That addict voice is cunning, and I like to think I'm not so foolish as to listen, but this time I did and I regret it.

I am back inside my sobriety - safe, loved, and a bit the worse for wear. My addict voice NEVER has my best interests in mind...