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What does your AV tell you?

Old 09-07-2014, 06:03 PM
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Question What does your AV tell you?

I am interested in hearing some of your responses. What are some of the things your addictive voice tells you? Which are the tactics it uses that you find yourself more susceptible to? How is it irrational, and what do you tell yourself/do you do to combat it?
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Old 09-07-2014, 06:46 PM
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*I can't quit drinking 'just like that'.
*I am out of control and helpless
*I am scared to death of quitting drinking. How could I possibly survive without alcohol?
*If I could quit or control my drinking, I would have done it long before this
*If I could quit, I certainly can't quit now.
*It's genetic, look at my father and my uncles. No wonder I drink.
*I can never do this on my own.
*I have a disease which will get worse and worse.
*Even if I quit for a little while, I will relapse time after time.
*I will never 'recover' from alcoholism
*I will always be in danger of losing control and drinking.
*I will need to be constantly on guard.
*I will need divine help to stop, and the most I can ever hope for is to quit for one day at a time.
*I am a worthless POS, and I need to drink to numb this thought or I will lose my mind.

Once I quit, I wasn't really susceptible to any of these, drinking again was simply never going to happen. Once I got that, it didn't really matter what my AV had to say. I recognized it as what it was, I accepted that it was there and I would experience it because of my drinking, and I separated from it. Because I had quit, this AV wasn't me anymore, it was nothing more than my urge to get buzzed trying to see another drink.

Recognizing thoughts of drinking, and also thoughts of self doubt and inability to quit, for what they are, is the first step. Recognize these thoughts, acknowledge them and observe them. They by themselves can't compel you to act. You retain that power yourself.

Once you decide that you deserve a life without alcohol, and decide that this alcoholism as a way of life is not worthy of you, you will find your way forward. You can do it, you can quit alcohol for good, NotSoIvory. Belief in yourself, and do it. Onward!
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Old 09-07-2014, 07:18 PM
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One i'm currently hearing on a daily basis....

AV "You've got that rock festival next weekend, you may aswell wait until after that before you set a 'proper' sobriety date."
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Old 09-07-2014, 07:20 PM
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your not an alcoholic
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Old 09-07-2014, 07:23 PM
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Mine always used to tell me that tomorrow would be a good day to quit. We haven't been on speaking terms for over a year now.
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Old 09-07-2014, 08:21 PM
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The weekend is here let's drink. I told it that it was Tuesday a few times and it actually got quiet. The worst is when it tries to remind me I'm too old to change. Guess I should lie about my age too. Seriously it lies to me so I lie right back.
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Old 09-08-2014, 08:22 AM
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These are the some of the things I hear my AV saying to me.

You deserve to have a drink you have worked hard.
You can drink on the weekend and then you can stay away from it during the week.
It's more fun to be at a party after a few drinks.
You don't have a problem with alcohol, other people just want you to feel like you do. There is no way you are an addict.
It'll be more fun to go to X, Y, or Z with a few drinks in you then you can tolerate the loud music. It enhances the experience.
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Old 09-08-2014, 08:33 AM
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All I'm saying is my ego wants to kill me

Prove em all wrong your the man your my hero lol
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Old 09-08-2014, 08:36 AM
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Originally Posted by oldsoul1122 View Post
The weekend is here let's drink. I told it that it was Tuesday a few times and it actually got quiet. The worst is when it tries to remind me I'm too old to change. Guess I should lie about my age too. Seriously it lies to me so I lie right back.
Your response made me laugh
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Old 09-08-2014, 09:19 AM
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*Next time will be different.
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Old 09-08-2014, 09:25 AM
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I(YOU) don't care


You're a drinker, some people just are, nothing you can do about that
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Old 09-08-2014, 10:23 AM
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Originally Posted by freshstart57 View Post
*I can't quit drinking 'just like that'.

Once I quit, I wasn't really susceptible to any of these, drinking again was simply never going to happen. Once I got that, it didn't really matter what my AV had to say. I recognized it as what it was, I accepted that it was there and I would experience it because of my drinking, and I separated from it. Because I had quit, this AV wasn't me anymore, it was nothing more than my urge to get buzzed trying to see another drink.

.
It was there because of the drinking. Excellent point, reading it was like an aha moment, helps explain how more time removed from drinking can make it appear to recede. For me it pops up now and again, but not in any 'threatening' manner. Thanks
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Old 09-08-2014, 10:50 AM
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For me, my Addictive Voice is the same thing as my Flesh Nature which is the same thing that ran my life thru all the years of my 'Self-Will-Run-Riot'. When I meditate (quiet my racing mind and observe the thoughts that run incessantly) I can see the whole process of that AV churning out thoughts, emotions, and the jump-start of automatic behaviors, desperately clamoring to get me (the observing Rational Mind me) to engage the clutch and let the AV / Flesh Nature run the show (wreak havoc).

It is not just Addiction-based thoughts, emotions, and auto-behaviors...It is all of the 'Instinct-out-of-Control' $#!+. For me, recognizing all of this helps, but that alone doesn't completely solve all my issues, and restore me to wholeness.

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Old 09-08-2014, 11:04 AM
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I didn't drink in over 6 years, thought my addictive voice had retired. I was on pain pills after a recent surgery and when I ran out my addictive voice roared back to life. It shouted out "Send down some more pills". When it figured out there were no more it said "Hey, no worries, lets get a case of vodka, it will give us some of those same feelings and the liquor store is only a few blocks away". These thoughts lasted a short time then went away, seems the old addictive voice is willing to come out of retirement if it finds an opening.
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Old 09-08-2014, 11:39 AM
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The romanticised view of alcohol was a big one for me, a few beers after work in the sun, a nice glass of wine with dinner, a nice scotch on a winters night, but isn't that what people do on holiday, let's enjoy ourselves, let our hair down, it'll be fantastic!!

But what my mind never told me, or failed to mention as it set the scene, was that it was never a few, or a glass, it was always a bottle or multiple bottles, and always a whole case of beer!!

An important part of my Sobriety was getting past and exposing these kinds of myths and lies!!
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Old 09-08-2014, 12:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Greedy View Post
One i'm currently hearing on a daily basis....

AV "You've got that rock festival next weekend, you may aswell wait until after that before you set a 'proper' sobriety date."
Greedy -

My AV used the exact same seduction with me earlier this year, during my relapse. I knew it was time to set it down, but that damn music festival was on the horizon, I'd already relapsed, I was already going to have to go back into the rooms and 'fess up... blah, blah, blah.

The next chapter of the story is that I listened to the AV, went to the festival, drank like a pirate, ate a baked treat with extra, and blacked out for a large portion of the festival. During my black out I (apparently) had a vicious and shameful argument with my sweetie of the moment (gee, we're not together anymore, how weird is that?).

I got back into sobriety immediately after said festival, and am immensely grateful that I didn't make even worse choices during the black out. I could have been raped (I have a tendency to snuggle up to strangers when I'm really in my cups), behaved shamefully in front of co-workers or friends (both were also in attendance), or - hell - climbed up on stage and disrobed (not out of the realm of past behavior).

I gained nothing from the experience, lost a great deal, and didn't even enjoy the music itself.

That addict voice is cunning, and I like to think I'm not so foolish as to listen, but this time I did and I regret it.

I am back inside my sobriety - safe, loved, and a bit the worse for wear. My addict voice NEVER has my best interests in mind...
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Old 09-08-2014, 12:41 PM
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"You've abstained for almost two months now.
You can have a couple, just today. It won't even
count."
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Old 09-08-2014, 12:44 PM
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'You've worked hard today, wouldn't it be great to watch the football with a beer?' Has been going round and round today.

My response....

'NO!' , Because I would without doubt wake up with an awful hangover and be full of shame tomorrow. Instead, I will wake up sober and thankful for another sober day.
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Old 09-08-2014, 12:52 PM
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things have evolved for me or perhaps my AV is getting more slick. Essentially i beat myself up "you cant" "you stink" "see your going to screw this up again" "your broke becuase you failed again" etc.. I know if I listen to any of these i start slipping down the slippery slope then I know the AV will probably tell me "go get a case of beer your haven a tough time anyhow and it'll help you feel better you could really use it"

I like robin williams quote when he said being an alcoholic is like that little voice in your head as you look over a cliff and it says "You can Fly"

I've even had mine tell me to just pop in the beer store to check what the prices are like these days. I'm like yeah thats a trap!
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Old 09-08-2014, 01:02 PM
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"No one has to know" - I'll know.
"Aren't you curious?" - No, I've tried it hundreds of times.
"You can't quit forever. Just look at all the statistics of alcoholics like you, the outcome looks grim" - All that matters is today.
"Just this once" - You said that last time.
"We need a proper 'goodbye' party" - You also said that last time.
"Sometimes I miss that pink/red/white wine..." - That's because you're addicted to alcohol.
"Screw the wine, vodka is cheaper and will do a quicker job" - Also because you're addicted to alcohol.
"Maybe we can start this again... when you're older... when the kids move out. Then no one will care" (the kid is 1 yr old) - Maybe, but not today... and probably never.

And there are about a billion other things.
I respond by saying "I will never drink again and I will never change my mind" and then I let it run it's course. Or I play the tape through. Or I come on here
Or I just see it for what it is - an addiction. A part of my brain that short circuited and now thinks it needs alcohol, when it really doesn't. My lizard brain. I don't have to respond to it. It'll always be there running it's little thoughts like some sort of a robot. It'll play my emotions and desires against me. That's what it does, but it's ok. I choose not to feed it.
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