crack use and prostitution: hand in hand?
This is my first time on this site. I am looking for some answers that I continue to struggle with.
A year ago I became involved with a 'recovered' crack addict. At times he seemed withdrawn and moody, and admitted to using again 4 months into our relationship. I asked him where he went, how much he would use (I'm all very new to this) and he would avoid my questions. Our relationship then turned, I still cared for him a great deal, but I was very weary. I asked him if he had been with anyone else since our relationship started: he said no. It was this push pull dynamic I was caught up in and he wouldn't really let me go. I then recognized co-dependent tendencies in myself, but wanted to support him - and at least be his friend... I felt bad for him and his addiction. We were still in daily contact - talking about his recovery and the nature of our relationship.
About 2 months after he told me he used again, he finally came clean and told me the truth: whenever he uses crack, he uses with a prostitute and will exchange sexual favours. He will call up an escort agency, buy hours of time with a prostitute and buy crack for he and the prostitute to use. He told me there were two of them from this certain escort agency who 'partied' - and who he met up with in the previous months.
I was blown away, shocked, terrified, traumatized. I couldn't believe it. I got tested immediately - thankfully everything turned out fine for my health.
We didn't talk for months. He sent me his test results, which were fine also. He showed great shame and remorse, attends weekly/daily CA meetings. We talk once in a while now. I still feel very sad about everything. I really care for this guy, which probably sounds ridiculous. But at the end of the day, I don't trust him and images keep flashing in my mind of him getting high with prostitutes. He is amazingly emotionally intelligent. I want to believe he cared for me too, even though his actions show the opposite.
I wanted to be 'that girl' who helped him turn his life around. Now I realize I'll never be enough for him.
He also admitted to using prostitutes in the past - without drug use. I imagine he might have a sexual addiction as well.
The more I read, it seems as if crack use and prostitution go hand in hand. Can someone please shed some light on this for me with your experience, and the elements of sex addiction intertwined within this?