Exactly. I can drink, and take on all of the crap that goes with it, OR I can CHOOSE to have a marriage and a family, a job, a home, my physical and mental health and a little happiness once in a while. I cannot have both.
I looked at it this way. What would I do if someone were about to take all those things from me by force, backed me into a corner, what would I do? How would I react? I would fight, I would fight to the death to keep those things. Never drinking again is a piece of cake, a blip of will, compared to what I would actually do to prevent someone from taking that life from me.
So much of success is how you look at your goal. If you look at sobriety as being prevented from doing fun stuff, good stuff, normal stuff, you are doomed to fail. Better find something that points you in the right direction. Frame this proposition in a way that guarantees your success.
Maybe making a list of things you can have and be only if you never drink again will make sense. This gives you something to work towards, a positive force in your life. You can make this decision to quit drinking the choice to be free, the choice to be who you really are, and who you deserve to become.
You can do it, believe that you can succeed and that you deserve to succeed, and nothing will ever stand in your way. Onward!