Chemx

So just wanted to say hi all!

I am a 26 year old female living in the Uk. I need help.

Though my addiction may not be as severe as others, it is affecting my life a lot and I want it to stop.

For the last five years I've been using cocaine at weekends. It started with a few lines and then in no time at all went up to a couple of grams.

I use cocaine because I have an extremely low tolerance to alcohol, it does not take much for things to start spinning with booze, I don't like the feeling of being drunk. I don't like the taste of much alcohol. What started as just using coke to take the edge off the booze has turned into an absolute must for any alcohol situation. I am finding that I am missing whole nights of sleep on a regular basis.

I need help. I cannot go for a drink without wanting coke, I become argumentative when my partner tells me not to buy it. I somehow feel the night will be **** without it. I spend hundreds each month and regularly stay up for 24+ hours on it. It affects me at work because I am so exhausted, I get sick constantly, I am irritable and moody. I hate myself for doing it. The worst part is after a night on it I cannot sleep for hours and hours. I get all sorts of anxious thoughts, I think of how I have let my parents down, how **** I'm going to feel at work, I often want to die just to get rid of the anxiety.

I have to change, I always seem to talk myself out of the bad effects when I want it, although I only use it at weekends it's affecting my life so greatly and I feel out of control with. I feel as soon as I have a drink there's this girl in my head telling me to make the call. I want a life free of cocaine.

Being the age that I am, I find it very hard to give up drink all together and would like a social life which is why this addiction has become worse. The nights are getting longer, the lines are getting bigger, the bill is getting higher, the anxiety is hitting harder. Please help what can I do?!