Hi Iolo,
Welcome to the recovery forums. I am so glad you found us and decided to share. Many of us have been in your shoes, you're not alone. I also used my drug of choice mostly alone. I call that my not able to sit with myself time of the day.
You have taken a very big and commendable first step by admitting you have a problem and seeking out help. I understand your job situation and if you feel you can't go to rehab, there have been many people that have been able to get sober using AA. I will just say that it is one month out of your life that may infact save your job and everything else that is dear to you. If anything maybe you can just go to a detox for a few days. You've been drinking quite a bit for a long time and it would be safer to detox under a doctors care so that you can be continually evaluated. After detox you could always get into an outpatient care program that is held in the evenings.
In terms of medication, I am not a doctor nor am I an advocate for using drugs to detox off drugs so I am going to leave that question to people who will give you the appropriate answer. I will however say this: If you can, read some of the posts about methadone withdrawl on the substance abuse forum. People go through worse pain and withdrawl on the medicine they got addicted to trying to detox off things than if they would just have left the meds alone. Most times, they wind up being on methadone for life and there are some terrible side effects.
I don't know about what type of medication is given to detox off alcohol. I am curious also if you are talking about antibuse, but I don't think so. Antibuse helps people detox because it's used to make sure they don't drink because it will make you violently ill if you do.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. I am not sure a magic pill exists to get clean and sober. I think if there was I would have found it by now and I would have put all my $ into the company that makes it because they would make a fortune. I think from how it happened to me, this is just one of those times you have to pay your dues. But when you do the rewards are phenominal.